i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
