can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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