remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
