i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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