I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
