brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
