Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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