careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize