i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
