Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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