my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
