A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
