Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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