I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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