This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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