I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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