I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
