Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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