ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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