we have officially lost it.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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