I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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