What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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