Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm too high and old for this...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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