so explain again why im purple
no
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
