My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
