he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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