I'm pants shitting drunk right now
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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