As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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