mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
