She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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