Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Someone signed my nipple.
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