Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
