Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
