We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My first STD was from a foam party
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
