Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
