remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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