I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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