hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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