I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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