After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
