this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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