I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
