your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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