Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
