This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
