Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
