I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
