Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
