Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
