So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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