wat bout pragnant strippers??
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
