Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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