your room smells of hookers.
And success
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
