i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
