I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
