Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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