There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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