Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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