Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I cut my penus on the lid.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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