I'm really into asian looking animals
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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