The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
