which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So squirting runs in the family.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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